I am obsessed with the Book of Job in the Christian Bible. There’s a lot of unhinged shit that happens in the Bible, but the Book of Job is the myth that I cannot get out of my head because of how it starts, and what lessons we are to take away from the fable.

Job (pronounced like ‘joab’ with a hard ‘j’) is God’s most faithful servant on Earth. He also happens to be the richest man in the East. (Job 1:3) Job never sins, and even prays for his children just in case they’ve done something wrong and haven’t atoned for it.

Meanwhile in Heaven, God is having a little party. Depending on which version of the Bible you read this party was with “the supernatural beings that serve God”, or “the sons of God”, and Satan was amongst them. Whether you want to interpret that as Satan being a supernatural being that serves God, or Satan is one of God’s sons, or Satan is just…there, is entirely up to you.

A Run In With the Ex

I had questions about why Satan was invited to God’s party, then I learned that Satan has some character development from the Old Testament to the New Testament. The OT Satan is not the enemy of God, he’s just a supernatural being that serves God by being the opponent of humans. Anyway, the Lord asks Satan, “What have you been doing?”

I immediately think of the other tales of Satan being the most beautiful fallen angel, being God’s favourite until …until what? They had a fight, broke up, and kept trying to be friends until they couldn’t.

Have you ever bumped into an ex at a gathering or party, and had to behave in a way that was contrary to what you were feeling? That’s how I imagine God asking Satan “What have you been doing?” It’s not so much ‘what have you been doing?’, but ‘Who have you been doing? Without me?’

Satan has been gallivanting around on Earth, living up to his OT reputation, opposing humans here and there (Job 1:6).

Unable to keep his mouth shut, twitching with the need to show his ex that he’s thriving, and desperate to show that he’s moved on, God mentions his favourite human, Job.

“Did you notice my servant Job?” the Lord asked. “There is no one on earth as faithful and good as he is. He worships me and is careful not to do anything evil.” (Job 1:8 GNT)

I can picture it now. God and Satan standing off to the side of the free bar, looking at all the other heavenly beings at the party so as to avoid eye contact with each other. Smiling and speaking through gritted teeth. “My new boyfriend treats me better than you ever did,” says God.

I Ain’t Sayin’ He’s a Gold Digger

Satan can barely contain his mirth. Why is God being a celestial Sugar Daddy, giving this straight Earth man all these riches? “Would Job worship you if he got nothing out of it?” (Job 1:9) Satan says that if Job hadn’t been given so much property and children by God he probably wouldn’t have the same devotion to God.

“Suppose you take away everything he has — he will curse you to your face!” (Job 1:11) says Satan.

God is unable to walk away from Satan’s taunts. “All right,” the Lord says to Satan, “everything he has is in your power, but you must not hurt Job himself.” (Job 1:12). And just like that, God cucks himself.

But instead of God being forced to sit back and watch his most faithful human servant be pleasured by Satan, God now watches Job have all his wealth destroyed. First, the donkeys were stolen, then the servants slaves were killed, then lightning struck the sheep and the shepherds, the camels were stolen and more servants slaves were killed. His children were killed by the house collapsing on them during a storm.

Job cries, he tears his clothes off, he shaves his head, and throws himself on the ground, wailing “The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. May his name be praised.” (Job 1:21)

Now, you and I know the back story. God and his ex-favourite were having a little kiki, a little wager, that God’s new favourite wouldn’t blame God for taking away his property and kids. And he didn’t. Job didn’t blame God for losing everything, even though it was very definitely God’s decision to do that.

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Look What You Made Me Do

The Lord hosts another gathering for all the heavenly beings, and Satan is there, again. There is no mention of God restoring Job’s riches between these tête-à-têtes between him and Satan. God speaks to Satan first and says, “You persuaded me to let you attack him for no reason at all, but Job is still as faithful as ever.” (Job 2:3)

Who is really in charge here if God can be persuaded by Satan? Or is God claiming that he’s the victim of Satan’s charms? “Look what you made me do!”

God once again can’t let Satan believe that his new favourite doesn’t love him more than Satan ever did. And once again Satan needs to poke the bear. Satan wagers again, “A person will give up everything in order to stay alive. But now suppose you hurt his body—he will curse you to your face!” (Job 2:4-5) And like a cum-drunk, love-sick fool God says Bet! “Do what you want to his body, but don’t kill him.” (Job 2:6)

Job breaks out in pus-filled sores. His wife asks him “Why don’t you just curse God and die?” Because it has to be a woman that suggests the man turn his back on God. I notice that Job’s wife was not among the possessions destroyed by God and Satan’s bet, and I figure it’s because she has to bear him children in the future.

Pus-y Job isolates himself by going out of town to sit by the local dump to hide his hideous form. Three of his friends come by and sit with him for a week, holding space for Job’s agony and suffering. That might sound nice, but as we’ll see later, these are shitty friends. Job finally breaks the silence and curses the day he was born. He blames his mother for holding and feeding him (because of course he does), and wishes he’d been a stillborn.

What Were You Wearing?

One of his friends, Eliphaz, says Job must have done something wrong for God to treat him this way. Eliphaz urges Job to just think back on what he did wrong, and maybe he can atone for it. This makes Job despair even further. Even his friends believe that Job’s suffering is Job’s own fault. “We bring trouble on ourselves, as surely as sparks fly up from a fire.” (Job 5:7)

Eventually we are told that Eliphaz is wrong about this. We are not to believe that Job actually sinned and invited the wrath of God. No, we are eventually meant to believe something far more abusive and manipulative than that.

Thank SkyDaddy for Hurting You

Eliphaz also says Job should be happy that God has “corrected” him.

This isn’t the sexyfuntimes kind of ‘Thanking Daddy Dom for a Spanking’. In that situation one would hope everyone was consenting, but Job hasn’t given his consent. The only beings getting pleasure out of this are God and Satan.

But Eliphaz’s point is more that God wouldn’t do this without reason, so what is Job not acknowledging?

Unbeknownst to Job and Eliphaz, the reason God is doing this is because he’s being a messy bitch with his ex, Satan. Why does God give two hoots about what Satan thinks of his heterosexual sugar baby on Earth?

I would also argue that doing things without reason is a fundamental feature of God’s personality. He’s not reasonable, or rational, and he’s not to be argued with. God even pretends he doesn’t know his new favourite, when he eventually speaks to him. God treats Job appallingly, and Job still believes the he should be loyal and faithful to him. “Who is this who keeps darkening my counsel without knowing what he’s talking about?” (Job 38:1)

It’s an archetypical abusive relationship.

This Song Is About You

There are countless resources available that can educate us on the signs of abuse in relationships. Let’s look at a few.

Monitoring

People who are abusive sometimes try to monitor their target’s communications or behaviour. God is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient; he monitors everything. He monitors Job so much that he told Satan about how good he is.

This is often presented as God watching over us as though we were a baby in a crib. It is equally presented as God knowing all of our deepest, darkest secrets, and being the seed of shame. God is the prison guard in Bentham’s Panopticon; believers must behave as if he is watching over them at all times.

And of course this is weaponised against believers. Read any ex-Mormon’s or ex-Catholic’s account of deconstructing their sexual repression and you’ll know that even thinking about sex is a sin, and God knows it. This is used to control the thoughts, words, and deeds, of believers by saying that sexual thoughts, words, and deeds lead to the damnation of one’s soul.

(I’m not sure just how effective this is because as long as you repent, you’re good. At least, that’s what they tell the pedophiles. It is wild to me that religious organisations will tolerate such high levels of pedophilia, but go completely crazy should a teenager want to rub one out. How many congregations are told they should forgive their predatory leader because “he is a vessel of God”?)

So, when you see those religious zealots talking about what kids should be taught, and how women should behave, remember they haven’t had a wank in forever. I’m no sex therapist, but maybe having a wank and a good night’s sleep might help them calm down a bit. Please, for the love of God, have a wank.

Financial Control

God gave Job his financial assets, and God took them away.

I’ve seen scholars argue that we are not infer from this that God rewards good people with material things, and God punishes bad people with poverty. Indeed, this is one of the major lessons of this book! The lesson we’re meant to learn is that God can make bad things happen to good people because God loves them and wants to test them.

What a tiny, insecure, little deity.

In some abusive relationships, the abuser will find a way to take control of their target’s money. They might try to get their target to quit their job, hide debit / credit cards, or take cash as a way to make it more difficult to leave.

Statistically, it takes approximately 4-7 attempts to leave an abusive relationship for good. Where was Job going to go when God took away all of his wealth? And when he became covered in sores? He took himself to the local dump.

Emotional Manipulation

The most common type of abuse is emotional abuse. This is usually inflicted upon someone via insults, humiliation, denying the truth to make you feel like you’re “going crazy”, name-calling, and making you feel guilty for completely normal activities such as going out with friends, eating what you like, or asking questions.

Even if you wanted to blame Satan for Job’s humiliation and suffering, the final chapters when God speaks to Job are further evidence that God is onboard with making Job feel like he’s going crazy for even questioning why this was happening to him.

One of the key take aways of this book is that you should not question God. I wonder what questions Job would have asked if he’d known that the reason for his suffering was because God had made a bet with Satan.

God shows some classic narcissistic personality traits here too.

Triangulation

Narcissists like to pit people against each other. They will introduce a third person into a conflict with the intent that the third person will side with them. Every Narcissus needs an Echo. I’m not sure whether we should ascribe the role of Echo to Satan, or to Job’s friends who turned up to comfort him. If we stick to the lore, God has his beings that do his bidding on Earth, and Satan is amongst them.

Silent Treatment

God purposefully ignores Job’s lament for at least a week, until Job’s mates turn up. And even then God continues to ignore Job’s crying until God’s had enough.

Imagine the scenario where a parent ignores their child’s crying. Child Protective Services would be called. But to be fair, we see this reflected in the practices of churches all over the world. Religious organisations around the world ignore children’s crying; I’d argue some even get off on it. Literally.

The silent treatment from abusers is meant to make you feel isolated. It is used to ostracise people, destabilise them, and is a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse.

When God does finally answer Job, he’s even more passive-aggressive and convinces Job that he has no right or reason be crying.

“Who are you to question my wisdom
with your ignorant, empty words?
Now stand up straight
and answer these questions I ask you.” (Job 38:2-3)

Narcissists love to deflect responsibility. While not actually denying he allowed all this misery to happen, God shifts the focus, 'HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME!!!’

It’s Spiritual Manipulation, Darling. You’re Not Meant To Understand

At this point God goes on a three chapter rant about how powerful he is, which is mostly God asking Job a tonne of impossible questions, but giving him no opportunity to answer.

• What holds up the pillars that support the earth? [Job 38:6]

• Job have you ever in all your life commanded a day to dawn? [Job 38:12]

• Have you ever visited the storerooms, where I keep the snow and the hail? [Job 38:22]

• Can you shout orders to the clouds and make them drench you with rain? [Job 38:34]

• Do you find food for lions to eat? [Job 38:39]

• Who gave the wild donkeys thie freedom? [Job 39:5]

• Was it you, Job, who made horses so strong and gave them their flowing manes? [Job 39:19]

• Does an eagle wait for your command to build its net high in the mountains? [Job 39:27]

Remember, God is asking Job these questions while Job is still covered in pus-filled sores, while Job is still suffering, thanks to God’s little wager with Satan.

These questions aren’t like Zen koans, intended to encourage thinking and intuitive understanding. They are intended to overwhelm, berate, shame, humiliate, and to put Job in his place as servant to God.

Chapter 40 is particularly chaotic, with God jumping from asking whether Job is trying to prove that “[God] is unjust - to put me in the wrong and yourself in the right? Are you as strong as I am? Can your voice thunder as loud as mine?” (Job 40:8)

Here, God reminds me of one of the worst people I have ever met and worked for. That person had a cocaine habit that exacerbated his profound personality and character flaws. He loved to go on monologues where he would meander all over the place with jargon-filled word salad. He would berate his target of the month with deranged rants, until his target was having a panic attack. He would get people to do work, and then not pay them in a timely manner. At one point he sent a company wide email that read, “If you see me around the office during the next week, please don’t talk to me, I’m very busy and preoccupied with something.” He was quite short.2

Chapter 40 gives me the same energy as that horrible boss. Completely unhinged, deflecting all responsibility, flooding the nervous system of his target until they are completely overwhelmed and unable to challenge the insanity. In Chapter 40, God sounds exactly like a narcissist who has been caught.

I may have digressed. The point I’m trying to make is we are not meant to take from this that God rewards obedience and punishes disobedience, but rather that it is all beyond our tiny human comprehension and we should not question God.

God’s own booming voice shows he is not rational, nor reasonable, nor fair. He is a chaos monster, and he does whatever the fuck he likes because he is God, and our tiny, little minds couldn’t possibly imagine what he was thinking. But he’s very powerful, so we best still believe in him, and believe that he hurts us for our own good.

I could never love a God like that. Or a human for that matter.

I’m Outta Love

The Book of Job describes abuse in the name of love, and is a blueprint for abusive relationships. It certainly maps to the cycle of abuse.

The torment of Job doesn’t give Job any real wisdom. Job simply silences himself [Job 40:4], and learns that his pain is nothing compared to the fragile ego of his abuser. I also don’t believe that the lesson from this myth is about patience, if anything it is about blurring the lines of love and abuse (though to me, there the two couldn’t be further apart).

The Book of Job also reads like a story about God’s internalised homophobia, and how much he hates himself for loving Satan. God acts out against Job because he knows that Job will never be like his former favourite, Satan. We see it play out time and time again in reality. How many hyper-religious, anti-LGBTQ+ politicians are out there hiding their same-sex lovers, because they hate themselves?

I’ve been obsessed with the Myth of Job because on the surface it presents itself as a lesson in perseverance and trusting God to get us through our worst times, but scratch that surface and it all begins with the hypocrisy of God. It is a masterclass in physical, mental, and financial abuse allowed under the umbrella of God’s “protection”.

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THIS WEEK:

Most listened to song: Broken Bones by KALEO

Favourite thing I’ve watched: Speculation about the AI bubble bursting

Favourite thing I’ve read: Dark Neighbourhood by Vanessa Onwuemezi

I’m most excited by: Excitement is not possible right now

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📅 Wednesday, 6th August, 2025

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I was sad at the time, not just about the thought of losing her company, but for a lot of other reasons as well.

After they announced they were moving, they also asked me if I would be interested in being “more than the fun auntie”, a role I played while they were away.

I have always wanted a cat (or two), but I’ve never thought I was ready for one and until I moved here I’d lived in rented accommodation that didn’t allow pets anyway. Besides, if I had any say in the matter I would not be getting a cat right now because of my employment situation.

There was some back and forth between me and her parents. I wanted them to have a go at taking her up the road to the new place, letting her get a feel for the surroundings, let her see the patio where she could potentially bask and monitor the locals up there from her elevated perch.

And so they did. I was sent a beautiful photograph of her, carefully sniffing the new air down the road.

The following morning they sent me a message telling me she was fine during the day, but had escaped during the night.

I didn’t see the message until after lunch. I hadn’t heard any scratches on my door indicating that she was back here, and she hadn’t set off my doorcam either. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t around.

I know she likes to sleep under the ferns by the creek at the end of my backyard, or on another neighbour’s tin shed. I also know that she knows the sound of my door opening, and she knows the sound of my car pulling into my driveway.

So I opened the door to see if it would draw her out, if she happened to be down my end of the street.

It was her little grumpy chatter that alerted me to the backyard. She was back down this end of the street, and I wasn’t to go back inside until she’d made her way up from the creek.

She greeted me with chirps and purrs, and finally the lean into my legs. She wound her way between my ankles, head butting my calves.

I guess she’d made up her mind.

That was on the 3rd of July. Her parents were not surprised in the least. If I’m being completely honest, I was a bit surprised. She hasn’t known me that long, and cats tend do just whatever cats want to do. It turns out that what she wanted to do was live at my place with me.

I think one of the reasons I was reluctant to have a cat was because it would mean taking on caregivers’ responsibilities. I know we like to say that cats are very independent and loners, but she’s not a feral cat. She’s a domestic cat. She needs to be cared for in some capacity. I’ve never been confident in my ability to be a caregiver in any capacity.

For better or worse, I have to get up in the morning because she needs to be fed. For better or worse, I have to get up in the morning because she needs a flea and tick treatment next month. For better or worse, I have to get up in the morning because I have to find a way to pay for her vet visits eventually (her parents hadn’t taken her to the vet since her initial vaccinations and hysterectomy, and she’s not microchipped).

I’m sure she would just find another house to move into if I wasn’t around. She would be OK, and her original parents are still just up the road. But I’m now responsible for her full time, and I will confess that it’s not the best time for this to happen. I’ll figure it out somehow. I always do.

So how have things changed since I took on the role as her full time assistant?

Let’s start at the beginning, over the time I have known her she has gradually gotten closer to me. I mean that literally.

• She started out sleeping under the bed in the spare room.

• Then she moved to on top of the bed in the spare room.

• She then took to the couch - behind the couch, on top of the couch, on the seat of the couch. I should note that I don’t use my lounge room much.

• Then she moved to a large envelope I had put on the floor in my office while I was sorting recycling. She’s shredded it to pieces. I am still not allowed to throw out this envelope.

• A few times I caught her sitting on the floor directly behind me while I’m at my computer.

Since 3 July she has taken to sleeping on the desk. Yes, I had to make some room on the Nest-Desk for her.

And a few times she has attempted to gatekeep the keyboard. It hasn’t gone well.

She has also once snuck into my bathroom while I’ve been showering and waited for me to finish. It occurred to me, in that moment, that animals have no understanding of what it means to be naked, or the vulnerability a human confronts when naked in front of an animal with sharp claws. There are no photos of that, and I wouldn’t share them anyway.

Give it 6 months, if we’re still together, I think she’ll probably be a lap cat. When she sits on the desk in front of me with her engines running, I can tell she’s looking at me trying to figure out if she should put her front paws on me. She’s reached for me a few times. Headbutted my arms a few times. It all points towards something that might very well be inevitable: real cuddles.

Will she eventually want me to hold her in my arms? Maybe. Maybe not. It’s not really up to me. Cats do whatever they want.

So, meet Bubbah (fka Cassie). The cat that decided to live with me.

Go Fund Bubbah's Second Chance

Here’s a link to the Go Fund Me because cats don’t give a shit about how employed you are.

THIS WEEK:

Most listened to song: War Isn't Murder - Jesse Welles

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This is a structured session on Zoom that uses the research backed methods of body-doubling (shared presence for accountability) and monotasking (single-task focus) to:

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4. YOU HAVE ONLY ONE THING TO DO: WRITE.

5. YOU HAVE TO WRITE.

This is a structured session on Zoom that uses the research backed methods of body-doubling (shared presence for accountability) and monotasking (single-task focus) to:

• Reduce procrastination (via social accountability)

• Increase output (by minimising task-switching)

• Enhance flow states (through uninterrupted deep work)

The Adjudicator will keep track of time, while you get deep into the flow of writing.

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You could be writing non-fiction, fiction, academic papers, technical manuals, journaling, poems, scripts for screen, stage or airwaves, grants, love letters, whatever you’ve got to write, you can focus on it here. And it’s free.

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📅 Wednesday, 16th July, 2025

🌍 7pm BST (UK)

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🌍 9pm EEST (Helsinki)

🌏 11:30pm IST (India)

Everything I have drafted is sitting in the Perfcetionist Pile where I fret over whether it’s clever enough, or witty enough, or enough enough, whether anyone cares, whether someone cares, whether I want to save stuff and try for some sort of essay type thing, whether it’s too long, too short, too too too. It’s nonsense.

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I wanted to let you know that I very quietly launched another Substack focussed on exploring creativity, and how to get unstuck.

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The book was first published in Russian in 1964, then English in 1973. There are two film versions: one from 1989, which I haven’t seen, and another from 2013 which I have seen and what I refer to in this post. The book is generally considered …

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Yeah, I’ve had shit going on that I haven’t really wanted to talk about. Given what I am prepared to talk about that means that I probably haven’t fully processed it all yet, and it will most likely take me some time to do that, and maybe then I’ll write about it. Maybe. But for now, let’s look at the power of three.

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I’m pretty sure anyone who knows me doesn’t know that I do enjoy watching sport. I’m not good at sport, was never good at sport. I was incredibly uncoordinated as a child, was definitely picked last on teams, if at all. The only thing I enjoyed doing was dancing. I wasn’t pa…

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I’ve been making my home in Scotland. I feel very lucky to be here. 

For the last few weeks I, like many others, have been struggling to “create content” because, if you’re aware of anything going on in the world right now, it just seems asinine to do anything other than bear witness and use whatever time and/or money you have wisely.

I…

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I might have been about 3 or 4 years old when I first saw snow. It wasn’t something that ever occurred in the Queensland tropical climate. We had to travel to it. My immediate family had gone on a holiday down the east coast of Australia, then swung right and headed for South Australia. We drove b…

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